a Present

I just realized a moment ago that exactly one year ago tonight (the night of March 3rd...) I went into (active) labor. I was just telling Sean that a year ago right now (11:30 ish) I was squeezing his hand and making him stay up and count how long my contractions were. So weird that it was a whole year ago. It was such an epic, mind-blowing, life-altering event and the pain and exhaustion and swelling and fatness are just faint, dream-like memories.

I sometimes like to think about the years gone by. The days in high school where I would stay up all night doing homework thinking that the next day was the end of the world. Or worrying about whether or not I would see the boy I liked the next day. Or the times when I would fall asleep on my brother's bed while they played video games and think "it won't be like this for long". It makes me a little sad to think about those days, how quickly the present becomes the past. At work we were talking about certain people getting married and Ilene and I reminisced for a moment about how exciting it was to date and get engaged and plan your wedding and how it's all about you for that one big day. And then even being a newlywed is gone so fast. As I get older I start to really reflect on each day and its worth. Because the future will so soon become the present and the present will become the past. I've gained a whole new perspective since getting married and having a baby. I try (though more often than not I fail) to treat each day like it was the last. It's so terribly hard to do. We have so many pointless worries, appointments, schedules to keep that it all gets in the way. I wonder, if we really wanted it, if after we die we could relive some of the happy days of our lives. But I suppose our knowledge will be perfect and we probably won't want to because even the happiest day of our mortal life will be nothing in comparison to our life in heaven. Just a thought.



Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.